Switzerland is quite a weird country. And after a couple of month living here I’m realizing that being Argentinian doesn’t help at all. We are use to the chaos, things not working, the survival of the fittest, we are use to not being bored, to go out until dawn. Tons of concept that here don’t exist.
The first Swiss concept that I experienced was the anticipation. I was used to be a spontaneous lady, in the worst case scenario, people were planning activities one or two days in advance. It was normal to received a text message on the spot of any of my friends saying if I wanted to go to the cinema, a BBQ, or a party ASAP. Here those things are impossible. In June 2014 I was still in Buenos Aires when my boyfriend (whom at that time was living thousands km far away from me) asked me if I have any plan for September 10th. It was kind of funny, I didn’t even know what I was going to do the day after, of course I couldn’t think if I was gonna be available for three months ahead. The only thing I knew is that I was going to go living in Switzerland, without being able to work and I was gonna see again my long distance boyfriend. So I guessed I was gonna be free for that day. It seemed like my brother in law wanted to invite us to have dinner that day. So 2 months before travelling to Switzerland and 3 months before I knew with whom I was gonna have dinner that 10th of September.
My friends describe me as intense, I like plan stuff, specially if it’s a fun stuff for a weekend. I was the one who on a Monday night was sending messages to my friends saying: any plans for the weekend? My friends called me exaggerated for wanting to plan a gathering or a going out with 6 days of anticipations. Here people are crazy. I hope it never happen to you that you wake up one day craving a BBQ. I’m sorry, but today is the day I want to have a BBQ, I couldn’t plan this! I didn’t know this 3 weeks ago. I’m sorry, really, cravings are just like that. Here people tend to be super busy and they don’t like last minute plans. In summer it is even worst because Switzerland is a country that has 9 months of winter, so summer exists only to be enjoyed. Like if it was your last day on earth. Every second counts, every plan has to be amazing and every weekend is the perfect excuse for doing some outdoorsy activity. Trekking on the mountain, going to the lake, or to the winery, or to a cascade. People loves being outdoors and I’m a city bug. I’m happy with ice cream and Netflix, I don’t care if it’s sunny or if it rains. In winter people don’t go out too much, actually not at all. So it gets complicated also to plan something because everyone is tired and cold and is already night at 4 pm. The only mandatory thing to do in winter is skiing. Exactly the type of activity I have never done. Once we went on a school trip to a ski place (we do have snow in Argentina, but its far away from the capital) , the idea was skiing, they separated us in 3 groups. The one who knew how to do it, the ones that knew a little bit, and the beginners. I was in the group number 4: the sick ones. This was the second time in my life that I had 38 degrees of fever. I’m a person who achieved 37 degrees while having mononucleosis, so being in the mountain, with snow with 38 degrees was a little bit too much. So we can say that I never actually skied before.
Going to the cinema in this country is also complicated. For starters the seats are not numbered so when you want to go on a Saturdaynight movie you are fucked, you have to go early so you can be sure you are gonna sit next to your boyfriend and not in the stairs or the first row. I thought this was the 1st world, that they would have a little bit more of common sense. But no. Another fun fact is that the movies are, usually, subtitled in French and German simultaneously. First things first: they are forgetting the Italian Swiss population that also live in this country, segregation is not my thing. Second: having 2 subtitles in one movie means that there is not too much space for actual images. So it sucks. Since I arrived I haven’t seen any French movie. My French is not there quite yet so I can’t go to the cinema just like that. Maybe if the French movies would have French subtitles…that would be great, but of course it is not going to happen. Not so long ago there was this tribute to a Korean director that I love. I really wanted to see his movies on the big screen, but people talking in Korean plus French subtitles, it didn’t seem like the best idea. In Argentina, no idea why, we like to clap in cinemas. Here they don’t, and it’s ok. But in all the places that they do clap they do it in a weird way. Without rhythm. I don’t know if it’s weirder the way that they clap or trying to describe a clap. Whatever. Nobody can complain too much about Swiss food. A little bit of French, a little bit of German, some Italian and tons of butter and we are ready. The complicated thing is to do a diet here. They don’t have anything ”LIGHT”. Wait, I know that the “light” label is only a marketing bluff so I don’t feel so guilty when I’m having chocolate, but I was happy when I was able to lie to myself. Here I can’t even find a diet yogurt. For being a country that they specialize in dairy product they should be able to do some light cheese. The typical type of cheese of the region is the Gruyère, and it’s great. The raclette and the fondue are the most traditional food. But what nobody tells you about that is that they smell like an old dirty pussy. At least of what I think an old dirty pussy smells like, I don’t have too much experience of this type of places. The first time that I met my mother in law we went to a traditional restaurant for lunch. I was quite nervous about the first encounter. We entered the place and a horrible mist of disgusting smell came straight to my nostrils until my head was spinning. My father works in a voluntary project of cheese factories, so I was kind of used to the smell of raw cheese but this smell is completely different. I can’t think how people get use to this odor, but still, people around me, in the restaurant seemed like having the time of their life and actually enjoying their meals. I can’t remember exactly what did I order that day for lunch. I remember that my boyfriend was astonished that I was not eating. For me no eating was big. Actually he thought I was ill or something. My mother in law asked a horse beef. Yep, that’s actually an other traditional dish.
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