Living in other country is not always very easy. Being far away from your family and friends sucks. Understanding that the other is different than you, that cames from an other country and that they have other costumes is not always the easier. Because I’m a foreigner in this country but they are foreigners in my life. So, my question is what can we do when your mother in law comes from another planet? I know that talking about the in laws is a cliché. And I don’t want to be mean but sometimes is just too easy. At first our relationship was not very easy, I was talking Spanish and English, she was speaking only French so we didn’t talk too much. I thought for quite a long time that the only reason why we didn’t talk was this idiomatic bareer between the 2 of us, but now that I am some sort of fluent in frech I realize that no. she is like that, not very talkative. To be fair with her, a lot of swiss people around her age are like tkat. I was more used to the idea of having dinner with the family of your boyfriend and everyone asking you stuff. You are the new one, so where do you come from? How did you meet with eachother? Also, living here, I got used to very weird questions about Argentina like if I dance tango? Or how much money does it cost to buy a cow? Or how many hectaries do you need to be a millionaire? Like if every Argentinian were walking clichés. Sadly, my family doesn’t own any land, so I have no idea. And no, we don’t dance tango. That’s the thing, when you live abroad you are super conscious of where you come from. Way more than if you were living in your own country. Everything happenes or doesn’t happen because you are Argentinian. I’m fine with this idea, and I’m in peace with the idea of being Mica, the Argentinian. Then I have to explain them that not all argentinan people are as crazy as me.
Apparently here the questions are not so common so I spent a lunch of 4 hours without emmiting a word. Because nobody asked me anything.
The mother of my boyfriend is a little bit like that. And the problem is not her. Its me. I can´t be quite for too long. I get crazy. After 5 minutes of complet silence I start loosing my mind. There are some people who are confortable with the idea of the silence. My boyfriend and his mom are one of these people. So if I don’t talk, the 4 hours weekly that we usually see his mom it would be in complete silence. So imagine my surprise when open her mouth and tell me something. The tiny detail is that it was for complaining about my food. I’m not a chef at all. But since I arrived here I have so much time on my hands that I decided to start cooking. And I have to say that I do it quite well, nothing very complicated but for a person who 2 years ago didn’t know how to turn on an oven, I’m quite proud. Going to the supermarket in a country where they don’t speak the same language that you it can be quite tricky. This country its weird because they have 4 official languages: French, German, Italian and Romance (this last one is only a dialect). So when you grab a package of cookies you have written in 3 languages, and that’s great because if I cant understand it with French at least I can get some words in Italian. The problem is when the product is written only in german, and it can happen, because the Swiss- German part are the mayority. So its not so uncommon that you mix some brands or you change the type of meat that you buy everyday, just because you don’t understand what the fuck you are buying. That’s what happened to me, I got mistaken with the meat. And that’s the reason why my mother in law complained about my food.
This an important message for all the mothers in law out there: you should never, ever, complain about someone elses food, specially if the one that its cooking is the soon to be wife of your beloved son. Do you understand? If you liked more the raviolis that I cooked last week, I don’t care, if you rather have some meat than the chicken, I don’t care, if you prefer your curry spicier, I don’t care. Everything for a very lovely reason: this is my house and I’m the one who is cooking.
On the fridge we have a couple of pictures and drawings attached with an iman. When I’m feeling romantic I leave some nice messages to my boyfriend there. One of the messages said: you are my favorite pain in the ass.
Apparently my in law gets some English, but definitely not sarcasm. So she asked what that was supposed to mean. Why would someone say that her love one is a literal pain in the ass. I don’t know what is worst, the fact that she thinks that I think that her son is annoying or that she actually thinks that her son if inflicting me a pain in my bum.
My boyfriend, very ashamed, had to explain her that it was a joke, and no, we are not the type of people who likes to publish when we have anal sex or not.
I tried to think movies about mothers in laws, and to be honest, they are not the best. The best example i can give you is “Monster in Law”, a movie that has everything to be success and funny and it just sucks. come on, Jane Fonda is too flawless for our beloved Jenny from the block, whom by the way is not funny whatsoever. so, if you let me, i will try to do a list about families, the in laws. Usually the stories are worst when is not your family.
5. MEET THE PARENTS, 2000 de Jay Roach. Far from being my favorite movie. i have to confess that the first three times i watched it, i didn’t find it funny. i don’t know, there is something about the character of Ben Stiller that it made me feel so pity. Even if i don’t love this comedy i have to say its a perfect example for what happen when you meet the parents of your SO.
4. THE FAMILY STONE. 2005. An other movie so and so, but with a very clear message: how complicated is to meet your family in law, specially in you brother in law is hot as fuck. Thankfully my husband is an only child.
3. PRIME, 2005, by Ben Younger. With Uma Thurman and Meryl Streep. If you are not already convinced… Uma´s character goes to the shrine because she is quite sad of being single and she is not able to concrete wish of becoming a mother. At some point she will meet a much younger guy, who ends up being the son of her shrink and life won’t be the same. The movie is nice, funny and very entertained. Of course the presence of Meryl Streep, doesn’t hurt. The relationship girlfriend-mother in law is way more complicated than my, if thats possible.
2. MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING, 2002, by Nia Vardalos. Im pretty sure this is what my SO feels when he meets my family. Other culture, other religion, we like to shout, we like to eat, drink are we are way too much intense for a poor swiss boy. My big fat jewish wedding, soon in cinemas.
1. WELCOME TO SWEDEN, those is a tv show created by Amy Poehler´s brother, Greg. Obviously, the talent runs thru those veins. Bruce is in a relationship with Emma. She is Swedish, and the problem begins when she accepts a position in a company back in Stockholm. Bruce quits her job and his life in the States to travel with her to see how life is in Sweden. I have to say, clearly, Swedish people are not Swiss, i can tell they are waaaaaay more weird than this ones, anyway, this tv show is genius, funny and its perfect for those who want to understand how im feeling in this moments.
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